The RIDE continues here...
For me those burst were the start of the ride, it's not that it was always downward slope all the way or else it would have been a downfall only and not exactly a roller coaster ride. So I had good times too and have come out of it to a larger extend. What is the gist of the ride that I became more thoughtful, more understanding, more mature, more strong than before. I started believing more in self. Here I can state one more saying which unfolded itself in front of me - even the gold has to face fire to become purer. For us that fire is nothing but the tough time. It helps us to grow in some or the other way. Our reaction to it and our choice at the moment defines and shapes us.
Being just thankful to my dear friend, who was not just hearing but was listening me for all those hours, will not justify or come anywhere closer to what he gave me then. I can't even put right word to show my gratitude for it. Anyways putting words to feelings mostly do not reach to the level of feelings hence I don't intend to do so. I take that with me and treasure it.
I really feel, I start drifting from the story so quickly. Where is my screen play?? let the flash back continues...
After that night I felt so light and so strong that I thought I could take the world head on. Later in the day I cherished life. I knew how much burden I was carrying on me of not letting things out and leaving that behind gave me strength and thus my coaster was on a high. Again right from the high point, coaster come down and comes really speeding. Only time it did not catch me unaware. We got confirmed news that apart from filing false FIR with police, my wife has taken it one more step forward and filed a private petition for the same thing. Next cause of tension at home were not the consequences of case but the first pain point was the fear of police appearing someday at home with summons or warrant or something more embarrassing and hurting. This fear translated in agony and anger. When we talked to different well-wishers of ours (this part was mostly done by my parents), different view points came up and to add on worry and tension, different version of what-could-go-wrong or how we could go from frying pan to fire, these types of ideas keep flowing in and all I was doing at that time was trying to avoid them as much as possible and also trying to keep my parents away from thinking about it. I tried and tried very hard NOT to think about bad things what could happen and even harder to think, rather imagine, what best could happen. We understood that bailable warrants might be waiting for us and we were not sure how to deal with it. Basically till then bail and bailable warrant or any other warrant were just the words we heard mostly (probably only) in movies. This time, these were in real life. This fear of unknown grabbed us pretty strongly. Discussion with different advocate was nothing less confusing. Technically there were hardly any differences but the approach for them was as different as it could be. Someone was suggesting to dodge it, someone on the other hand said to go out and face it upfront. As I said earlier, we always have a choice so we chose to face it once for all. No doubt, hundred and thousand of thoughts keep coming and going. Bhaiya keep on thinking and sharing thoughts with me like we should do this, we can do that, probably this way is good and that person can be trusted and so on and so forth. Meanwhile on surface I kept my cool avtar on, yet just below the surface, I was also feeling anguish and heat of the moment was there to grab me any moment. Still it was not as bad probably and what gave me confidence and support was a book named "The Secret". I was reading it for quite some time now and it acted as a shield. I tried to pass on the theory to all the people at home and succeeded in it to certain extent. After that night when I came back home I did not come alone, yet another book on the same line was with me. (given by the same friend, who I talked about earlier here) This one was a translated one in my mother tongue and hence I was quick to follow. I have no second thoughts about it, YES, these books gave me much needed strength and support to think and to act. Here I say one more old saying with more faith than before - "Books are the best friends"
HOPE was the virtue which kept us afloat in tough time. We all acted with it back in mind and took the challenges. We tried to gather as much support as we could and found few harsh points regarding who we can trust and who we can't. But then positive point came out that we actually realized what we could not in last so many years. They say, characters are best tested against the tough time and nothing could be more true than this for us. We now see pretty clearly who will stand up with us and who will not... A very valuable learning. Also I understand with more clarity why people are warned against 'keeping all the eggs in one basket' and what it actually means. Now we play our cards more selectively and more prudently.
Meanwhile I traveled a lot, mostly the reason were the cases only and I kept shuttling between Raipur and Bhopal. However, whenever possible I take some time out for myself and relaxed in it. Traveling to new places all alone always work for me as the best medicine. I traveled to Mumbai, Pune, Bhojpur, Dewas and Indore during small gaps in my shuttling. Though these places were not new (except Bhojpur, I visited it for the first time) to me, still I found myself, enjoying. These small time fun and relaxation were good enough for me to keep up.
So, finally the D-Day arrived and from 4 different places we all gathered at Bhopal. Papaji went to our ancestor's village where our ages old Mandir is situated and from there he reached Bhopal, Bhaiya came from his posting place, Mammiji and Deedee came from Raipur (though Bhaiya came to Raipur first to take Mammiji and Deedee with him) I reached via Mumbai and this time in Mumbai I understand a thing or two about the movie making and that is where 'screen play' word came in my dictionary. These travels might form yet another story but not for now. We all spent our one day before the hearing, in tension, though it was not as high because we have decided how to go about it and what to do and what NOT to do. While having morning breakfast in a restaurant I suddenly realized one pretty pleasant thing after a long time, whole family of my parents, Mammiji, Papaji and we 3 children, were sitting together. Of course family has expanded a lot, Bhabhiji came in like 15 years back and 3 kids, my two bhatije and one bhanji makes us a proud family of 9. but then all our timings of having breakfast is so very different.
What happened finally? We got the bail for all of us with considerable ease, yes the process itself took almost whole 'working' day but then at the end of it we were pretty much relaxed. Accepted that war is still far from over, yet we won a big battle, a battle in our mind, a battle of keeping our moral high and we are hopeful that soon a solution will be within the sight.
What I need at this juncture of time ? good wishes from all of you. I have learned to count the blessings. This ride might have reached on a plateau and is seemingly easy but I know it can turn up and down anytime and I will be ready for it this time.
For me those burst were the start of the ride, it's not that it was always downward slope all the way or else it would have been a downfall only and not exactly a roller coaster ride. So I had good times too and have come out of it to a larger extend. What is the gist of the ride that I became more thoughtful, more understanding, more mature, more strong than before. I started believing more in self. Here I can state one more saying which unfolded itself in front of me - even the gold has to face fire to become purer. For us that fire is nothing but the tough time. It helps us to grow in some or the other way. Our reaction to it and our choice at the moment defines and shapes us.
Being just thankful to my dear friend, who was not just hearing but was listening me for all those hours, will not justify or come anywhere closer to what he gave me then. I can't even put right word to show my gratitude for it. Anyways putting words to feelings mostly do not reach to the level of feelings hence I don't intend to do so. I take that with me and treasure it.
I really feel, I start drifting from the story so quickly. Where is my screen play?? let the flash back continues...
After that night I felt so light and so strong that I thought I could take the world head on. Later in the day I cherished life. I knew how much burden I was carrying on me of not letting things out and leaving that behind gave me strength and thus my coaster was on a high. Again right from the high point, coaster come down and comes really speeding. Only time it did not catch me unaware. We got confirmed news that apart from filing false FIR with police, my wife has taken it one more step forward and filed a private petition for the same thing. Next cause of tension at home were not the consequences of case but the first pain point was the fear of police appearing someday at home with summons or warrant or something more embarrassing and hurting. This fear translated in agony and anger. When we talked to different well-wishers of ours (this part was mostly done by my parents), different view points came up and to add on worry and tension, different version of what-could-go-wrong or how we could go from frying pan to fire, these types of ideas keep flowing in and all I was doing at that time was trying to avoid them as much as possible and also trying to keep my parents away from thinking about it. I tried and tried very hard NOT to think about bad things what could happen and even harder to think, rather imagine, what best could happen. We understood that bailable warrants might be waiting for us and we were not sure how to deal with it. Basically till then bail and bailable warrant or any other warrant were just the words we heard mostly (probably only) in movies. This time, these were in real life. This fear of unknown grabbed us pretty strongly. Discussion with different advocate was nothing less confusing. Technically there were hardly any differences but the approach for them was as different as it could be. Someone was suggesting to dodge it, someone on the other hand said to go out and face it upfront. As I said earlier, we always have a choice so we chose to face it once for all. No doubt, hundred and thousand of thoughts keep coming and going. Bhaiya keep on thinking and sharing thoughts with me like we should do this, we can do that, probably this way is good and that person can be trusted and so on and so forth. Meanwhile on surface I kept my cool avtar on, yet just below the surface, I was also feeling anguish and heat of the moment was there to grab me any moment. Still it was not as bad probably and what gave me confidence and support was a book named "The Secret". I was reading it for quite some time now and it acted as a shield. I tried to pass on the theory to all the people at home and succeeded in it to certain extent. After that night when I came back home I did not come alone, yet another book on the same line was with me. (given by the same friend, who I talked about earlier here) This one was a translated one in my mother tongue and hence I was quick to follow. I have no second thoughts about it, YES, these books gave me much needed strength and support to think and to act. Here I say one more old saying with more faith than before - "Books are the best friends"
HOPE was the virtue which kept us afloat in tough time. We all acted with it back in mind and took the challenges. We tried to gather as much support as we could and found few harsh points regarding who we can trust and who we can't. But then positive point came out that we actually realized what we could not in last so many years. They say, characters are best tested against the tough time and nothing could be more true than this for us. We now see pretty clearly who will stand up with us and who will not... A very valuable learning. Also I understand with more clarity why people are warned against 'keeping all the eggs in one basket' and what it actually means. Now we play our cards more selectively and more prudently.
Meanwhile I traveled a lot, mostly the reason were the cases only and I kept shuttling between Raipur and Bhopal. However, whenever possible I take some time out for myself and relaxed in it. Traveling to new places all alone always work for me as the best medicine. I traveled to Mumbai, Pune, Bhojpur, Dewas and Indore during small gaps in my shuttling. Though these places were not new (except Bhojpur, I visited it for the first time) to me, still I found myself, enjoying. These small time fun and relaxation were good enough for me to keep up.
So, finally the D-Day arrived and from 4 different places we all gathered at Bhopal. Papaji went to our ancestor's village where our ages old Mandir is situated and from there he reached Bhopal, Bhaiya came from his posting place, Mammiji and Deedee came from Raipur (though Bhaiya came to Raipur first to take Mammiji and Deedee with him) I reached via Mumbai and this time in Mumbai I understand a thing or two about the movie making and that is where 'screen play' word came in my dictionary. These travels might form yet another story but not for now. We all spent our one day before the hearing, in tension, though it was not as high because we have decided how to go about it and what to do and what NOT to do. While having morning breakfast in a restaurant I suddenly realized one pretty pleasant thing after a long time, whole family of my parents, Mammiji, Papaji and we 3 children, were sitting together. Of course family has expanded a lot, Bhabhiji came in like 15 years back and 3 kids, my two bhatije and one bhanji makes us a proud family of 9. but then all our timings of having breakfast is so very different.
What happened finally? We got the bail for all of us with considerable ease, yes the process itself took almost whole 'working' day but then at the end of it we were pretty much relaxed. Accepted that war is still far from over, yet we won a big battle, a battle in our mind, a battle of keeping our moral high and we are hopeful that soon a solution will be within the sight.
