good news bad news..!

Hey folks...

There are some good news, some bad.

Good news is that couple of evening after my last blog post, I got a mail from my cousin, with whom I was so close and later, in rush of life, we went far. It's not like we have lost contact, but from almost constant touch, it sure went down to occasional contacts. So... I am very happy to get his mail for my blog. He says in it ... 'arey? ye to mera babloo hai..' and I am so happy and thrilled. Thank you bhaiya...!!

Now don't pick the hint and just forget that my nick name is ....... ! hey.. don't read back to check my name. :-) come on.. I have grown up now.. hehehe!

oh ya.. about that bad news.. I almost forgot about it. That's what I wish to do.. to forget all the bad news for always... not happening though. So as my 'fan following' is growing up day-by-day ( :-) दिल को खुश रखने को, ग़ालिब ये ख्याल अच्छा है..!) few unwanted visitors are also there and they have created a fuss about it, about my blog... it's like ब्लॉग पे बवाल, प्याले में तूफ़ान..!! वाह... वाह .. ! ये भी शेर बन गया क्या?? :-) शायद यही ज्यादा सही शीर्षक (title) होता ;-)

Sure you know whom I am talking about? now they tried to threaten me that they will slap me with another case or with another police complaint against me for writing the blog. As an individual, don't I have rights to write about me own life, about my own pain or what?? they simply want to block (read- 'want to control') my ways to breath, talk, mingle... rather my ways to LIVE. Probably they can't accept me living peacefully. They might be thinking that I should not be thinking anything else, but them.... all the time. (which is pretty far from truth, life never stops, it just goes on and on. No matter what) 

Though I hardly give it a damn, yet I wonder how mean people could be?Oh gosh... will it end like this?? will I be a prosecuted for writing blog?? Is this my last blog? my virtual death??

OK, it is not bad a news, just an outburst; but rather than calling it as 'there are some good news and some outbursts', it sounds more in line to say 'there are some good news and some bad ones'    :-)

At times this question stood up in my face in different ways from different people.. why do I write...? why do I write about my life?? why am I opening up so much in public?? to gain sympathy? to ridicule someone? to bore people with unwanted stuff? (I mean, how many people out there might really be interested in knowing what is going on in my life?) Why not some wacky things to tickle the funny bone? some thoughts on day-to-day life? some juicy gossip?

Even I have asked myself many times, why do I write?? I do have a reason... sure it is none of the above. I simply want to let it go... I want to scream out and scream out loud, but only to relieve myself. or else, it will eat me up from within. My whole energy might just go in fighting these things (pain, hatred, anxiety, sufferings, revenge etc.) and THAT would be the last thing I would like to do. I want to forgive everyone; I want to live like free bird and that's precisely why I write.

दर्द की बात होगी तो दर्द देने वालों का ज़िक्र आना लाजिमी है. मुझे शेर-ओ-शायरी तो कुछ ख़ास पता नहीं है पर कुछ इस तरह का एक शेर कभी सुना था... आपने सुना हो और याद हो जरूर बताइयेगा -

वो क़त्ल भी कर चलें तो चर्चा ना हुआ,

हमने आह भर ली तो हंगामा हो गया...

मैं थोड़ा अटक गया हूँ... अचानक ही mood जरा gloomy हो गया है... star struck .. I guess... 

I need to come back to this some other time.. or may be.. just leave it here and start something else.. sometimes unfinished things have their own identity. I really don't know whether I will continue on this or will I start a fresh one? 

I shall wait, hope you do the same.

My favorite songs...

मिसरा ग़ालिब का और कैफियत हर एक की अपनी अपनी ... दिल ढूँढता है फिर वही फुरसत के रात दिन... .... इसके आगे के संवाद तो मुझे याद नहीं हैं, पर ये पंक्तियाँ मुझे बहुत ही अच्छी लगती हैं| वस्तुतः एक पुराना कैसेट था मेरे पास, उसमें गुलज़ार साहब के संवादों के साथ जावेद अख्तर के फ़िल्मी नगमे थे... ये ऊपर वाली पंक्ति भी उसी का एक हिस्सा है| गीत क्या थे एक गुलदस्ता था, इसमें गुलाब की खुशबू, उसमें मोगरे की महक, कोई चंपा, चमेली के रंग-ओ-बू के साथ तो किसी में गीली मिट्टी की सोंधी खुशबू वाली यादें, एक तन्हाई की बेबसी समेटे तो एक में दर्द बाँट लेने की पुरजोर चाहत | शायद मेरे छोटे से collection का सबसे हसीन नगीना था वो...

वक़्त गुजरता ही रहता है | कभी, कहीं नहीं ठहरता... वक़्त के साथ उन पुराने गानों से लगाव तो कम नहीं हुआ पर कुछ और गीत या उनकी कुछ पंक्तियाँ कुछ इतनी अच्छी तरह से मुझ से मेल खा गयीं कि लगता है कि लिखने वाले के सामने मेरी जिन्दगी की किताब खुली रखी थी और उसने शब्दों को गीत में गूंथ कर उनमें जान डाल दी, 'बस इतनी सी जान होती है एक गीत में, एक लम्हे जितनी, हाँ ...कुछ लम्हे बरसों बरस जिंदा रहते हैं" [ओ... फिर से उसी में से लाइन उठा ली :-) ].
हाँ जी, तो सभी तो नहीं, पर इस तरह के कुछ गीतों की बानगी पेश-ए-खिदमत है ... क्यों भला?? बस यह पूछ कर मुझे बगलें झांकने पर मजबूर ना कीजियेगा... बस कुछ गीत गुनगुनाते हुए ये लिख बैठा हूँ..

1. अज़ीब दास्ताँ है ये... कहाँ शुरू कहाँ ख़तम... ... ये मंज़िलें हैं कौन सी... ना वो समझ सके ना हम 

(फिलहाल मेरी रिंग टोन यही है.. इसलिए "top of the mind" recall...! .. :-) understandably, MBA sneaks in at times!)

2. एक अकेला इस शहर में, रात में और दोपहर में.... आब-ओ-दाना ढूँढता है, आशियाना ढूँढता है.

इन उम्र से लम्बी सड़कों को.. मंजिल पे पहुंचते देखा नहीं, बस दौड़ती फिरती रहती हैं, हम ने तो ठहरते देखा नहीं

3. ऐ जिन्दगी......... गले लगा ले..... हमने भी..... तेरे हर इक गम को.. गले से लगाया है .. है ना? 

4. वहाँ कौन है तेरा... मुसाफिर .. जाएगा कहाँ? दम ले .. दम ले घड़ी भर .. ये छैंया पायेगा कहाँ?

5. अभी ना जाओ छोड़ कर .. के दिल अभी भरा नहीं...

6. रूक जाना नहीं.. तू कहीं हार के... काँटों पे चल के मिलेंगे साये बहार के.. 

7. जीवन कहीं भी ठहरता नहीं है, आंधी से तूफ़ान से डरता नहीं है, तू ना चलेगा तो चल देंगी राहें, मंजिल को तरसेंगी तेरी निगाहें, तुझको चलना होगा.. तुझको चलना होगा..

8. गोरे रंग पे इतना गुमान कर, गोरा रंग दो दिन में ढल जाएगा..! [बस यही एक लाइन... :-) ]

9. इतनी शक्ति हमें देना दाता मन का विश्वास कमजोर हो ना .. 

जब गुस्सा आता है तो ये गीत भी याद आता है....

10. मेरे दुश्मन तू मेरी दोस्ती को तरसे, मुझे ग़म देने वाले तू ख़ुशी को तरसे...

गीतों की फेहरिस्त तो शायद ख़त्म ना ही हो, पर ये ब्लॉग तो करना ही होगा... तो बस आज यहीं तक.. फिर अगली बार मिलते हैं, एक छोटे से ब्रेक के बाद...

अरे हाँ... बस एक और ....अंत में.....  क्यूँ पैसा पैसा करती है? क्यूँ पैसे पे तू मरती है...? एक बात मुझे बतला दे तू, उस रब से क्यूँ नहीं डरती है.....!!!

:-)

अब ये मत पूछ बैठना के ये दाल भात में मूसरचंद जैसा गाना कहाँ बीच में ला के पटक दिया.... बात ये है कि जब भी अदालत में निमिता जी से मुलाक़ात होती है तो इससे उपयुक्त गाना दिमाग में आता ही नहीं  :-) ... btw...  ताज़ा खबर ये है कि निमिता जी के भाई ने अपनी 'तारे तोड़ लाने की ख्वाहिश'  (रू. दो करोड़ की demand) को कम करके मुझ पर एहसान करने का दिखावा कर दिया है.. सुनते हैं कि अब भाई बहन सिर्फ 25 लाख चाह रहे हैं... एक या दो साल में शायद मेरी औकात के अन्दर की राशि पर भी आ जायेंगे... उम्मीद पे तो दुनिया टिकी है, ये नाचीज़ भला क्या खाक परे जाने की कोशिश करेगा.. तो मैं भी नाउम्मीद नहीं हुआ हूँ| अभी बहुत जान बाकी है सितमगर .. कुछ और तीर भी चला!

बात एक शाम की ...!

नमस्ते दोस्तों,

बहुत दिन हुए आप सभी से मिल कर बातें किये हुए |  जिंदगी इतनी बदल गयी है कि अपने आप के लिए भी सुकून भरा वक़्त निकालना मुश्किल हो गया है | कुछ हालात मुश्किल हैं, बाकी की कसर आलस पूरी कर देता है | 

कल दशहरा था और मैं भी रावण दहन देखने घूमते फिरते कहीं पहुँच ही गया | जगह महत्वपूर्ण नहीं है, मेरा वहाँ पहुँचना... है|        हाँ तो वहाँ का नज़ारा हमेशा की तरह जिन्दगी के रंगों से भरा हुआ था | एक रसिक की मानिंद मैं उन रसों का आनंद उठता घूमता रहा और ग़मों को भुलाता रहा | नहीं, नशे में बिलकुल नहीं, आप तो जानते ही हैं कि मैं नशा नहीं करता.. पर जैसा कि मेरी एक पसंदीदा फिल्म का संवाद है - 'जिन्दगी भी एक नशा है दोस्त, जब चढ़ता है पूछो मत क्या आलम रहता है...' आगे और भी है पर वो मेरे मतलब का फिलहाल नहीं है | अभी मुझ पर छाये जिन्दगी के नशे को उतरने में मुद्दतें बाकी हैं | 

पर मैं फिर बहक गया... तो मुद्दे की बात ये है कि मैं जिन्दगी का लुत्फ़ उठता मेले में घूम रहा था |  कुछ छोटे बच्चे, कुछ बहुत छोटे बच्चे, कुछ बड़े बच्चे, कुछ बड़ों के भेष में, पर फिर भी अन्दर से बच्चे, कुछ गोदी में, कुछ पापा, चाचा, मम्मी का हाथ कस कर पकड़े, कुछ के हाथ बड़ों ने बड़े जोर से पकड़े, वो भाग भाग कर मस्ती करने को उत्सुक, ये उनके भीड़ में गुम हो जाने के ख्याल में चिंतित, कुछ अपने दोस्तों के साथ मस्ती में डूबे, और कुछ मेरे जैसे निपट अकेले ही घूमते, रावण के मारे जाने का इन्तजार कर रहे थे| 

मतलब ये हर तरफ बच्चे ही बच्चे थे और एक ओर पंडाल लगा था उसमें रामलीला चल रही थी | कुछ चुटीले संवाद और बाकी वही, सदियों पुरानी पर नित नयी कहानी के रोमांचक अध्यायों वाले रंग बिरंगे पन्ने पलटे जा रहे थे | ऐसी जगह हो, इतना भीड़ भड़क्का हो और चाट फुलके के ठेले ना हों, भला हो सकता है? अजी बिलकुल नहीं, होना भी नहीं चाहिए... तो चाट के ठेले भी थे | लकड़ी की तलवार और छोटी छोटी गदा के संग चमकीले रंगीन कागजों से सजे धनुष बाण बेचने वाले, चाय की चुस्कियां, गरमा गरम मूंगफल्ली, चटपटे चने, मीठे बुड्ढी के बाल, फुग्गे आदि को साथ में लिए घुमंतू सौदागर, अपने अपने चाहने वालों को खोजते भटक रहे थे | अब चाट के ठेलों को तो भटकना नहीं पड़ता उनके चाहने वाले खुद ही ठेलों को ढूंढ ही लेते है, तो काफी सारे लोग चाट, पकोड़े, पाव भाजी, गुपचुप, भेल, आइसक्रीम .. और पता नहीं क्या क्या खाते मजे कर रहे थे| 

मजे की बात ये कि रामलीला के पंडाल के सामने बैठने की खासी व्यवस्था की गयी थी पर मैंने देखा कि वो जगह बमुश्किल एक चौथाई भरी होगी और कम नहीं तो 5-6 गुना लोगबाग बस बाहर ही बाहर से रामलीला का आनंद ले रहे थे| जबकि ना तो कोई टिकिट थी ना ही कोई रोक टोक. अब जिन्दगी के रंगों की ये भी एक बानगी है |

मकरध्वज और हनुमान संवाद अपने चरम पर था, और जितने भौंचक हनुमानजी थे ये जान कर कि मकरध्वज उनका ही पुत्र है, उतने ही आश्चर्यचकित मेरे कुछ प्रौढ़ अड़ोसी पड़ोसी (कम से कम तत्कालीन पड़ोसी) भी हुए थे, गोया कि इतने सालों से रामचरितमानस का पाठ कर रहा हूँ, ये बात मुझे आज रामलीला में ही पता चली?? ओ हो.... चलो भला हुआ कि मेरे पोते पोतियों को मेरी चूक का पता नहीं चला... कनखियों से जो देखा तो उनके पोते खिलखिला रहे थे | पता नहीं रामलीला ने या किसी और बात ने उनके चेहरों पे रौनक ला दी थी |

खैर, धीरे धीरे शाम ठंडी होते हुए रात में बदलती जा रही थी और पंडाल के सामने भीड़ बढ़ती जा रही थी, वास्तव में पूरे मैदान में ही भीड़ बढ़ गयी थी | कहानी का चरमोत्कर्ष आने ही वाला था और वो पल भी, जिसके लिए इतने सारे बच्चे वहां आये थे, फिर माइक पे कोई चिल्लाया... मेरा मतलब है कि उदघोषणा की गयी.. उसका निचोड़ ये था कि जिस व्यक्ति को रावण को आग के हवाले करने की जिम्मेदारी दी गई थी वो अपनी नियत जगह पर पहुँच जाये, जिम्मेदारी पूरी करने का वक़्त आ गया है.. किसी अहमद का नाम पुकारा गया.. या शायद मेरे कान बज रहे थे, या शायद हमारे प्रबुद्ध नेताओं को वहां होना चाहिए था इस छोटी मगर अद्भुत उदघोषणा को सुनने के लिए| वस्तुतः सांप्रदायिक सौहाद्र के छोटे छोटे ऐसे ढेर सारे उदाहरण हमारे आस पास बिखरे मिल जाते हैं| थोड़ा और गहराई में जाकर देखें तो रामलीला के कलाकार भी विभिन्न धर्मों के मानने वाले मिलना कोई अनोखी बात नहीं है| 

वापस रावण दहन पर आया जाए, तो फिर अंततः रावण जल उठा .. लोगों का हुजूम जो अभी तक रामलीला की ओर उन्मुख था अचानक ही नया शिगूफा पा कर दूसरी ओर दौड़ पड़ा .. आग, पटाखों की सुरसुराती हुई रस्सी की शक्ल में, रावण के पुतले के दस सिरों की ओर बढ़ चली... और एक एक कर के सभी दस सिरों से रंग बिरंगी चिंगारियां बरसने लगीं, फिर कुछ विचित्र से रंगीन आग वाले गोले उसके मुंह में से लटकते दिखने लगे, अचानक ही रावण थोड़ा funny सा हो गया था, किसी ने बगल से ताना मारा, '*$^&* रावण हंस रहा है'... शायद सचमुच रावण हंसता ही होगा.. हम हर साल रावण जलाने का उपक्रम करते हैं, ख़ुशी मनाते हैं पर क्या वाकई इतने सारे रावणों में से एक भी जलता या मरता है?? शायद इस सवाल का जवाब हम सभी को अपने अपने स्तर पर ही खोजना होगा, ये वाकई इतना आसान नहीं होगा| पर यदि हमारे अन्दर की एक बुराई भी इस आग में जल जाए तो शायद एक विजयादशमी अपने नाम को सार्थक कर पाएगी |

मैं फिर भटक गया... यही समस्या है emotional  होने में, जरा सा सूत्र मिला और मन दौड़ चला दूसरी ओर... खैर, मुझे लगा अब अंतिम दो तीन मिनट में रावण धुंआ हो जाएगा पर नहीं, आयोजक वाकई चतुर थे, उन्होंने कुछ आतिशबाजी का भी इंतजाम किया था और वो आतिशबाजी, जो बहुत विशाल या विहंगम तो नहीं थी पर हम बच्चों को खुश करने और रोकने और 'अरे वाह!!!' हो.... वो... चिल्लाने के लिए पर्याप्त थी, पूरे दस मिनट से कुछ ऊपर ही चली, बीच में रावण शायद तड़पता रहा होगा.. जिंदगी और मौत के बीच झूलते हुए... फिर उस पर दया करके अब पूरे तरीके से उसमें आग लगा दी गयी और एक बार फिर रावण धूं धूं कर जल उठा.. बस दो मिनट और अब वहां बांस का एक ढांचा ही बचा था, जिसे देखने में किसी को कोई दिलचस्पी नहीं थी.. अब सभी को याद आ गया था कि उनके अलावा कितने ज्यादा लोग भीड़ बने बैठे हैं, और घर जाने की जल्दी मचने लगी . 

बस .. अब आगे और क्या? मैं भी जल्दी से घर की ओर भाग चला... आखिर रात में TV  पर फिल्म भी तो देखनी है, दोस्तों से मिलना है, केस की तैयारी करनी है, और भी बहुत काम हैं... ओ .. भूख भी लग रही है.. चलो... अगली बार मिलते हैं.. कुछ और गपशप करेंगे.. 

टाटा ... शुभ विजयादशमी 

शुभ रात्रि... ! 

फिर मिलेंगे.....!!!

on demand

Hi,

There was a demand from my friend to put on some humorous post... while thanking my friend, here is a joke.. on demand.

however, earlier too I posted one under the title "borrowed one" guess it was not seen much.

sshhh... don't tell others that this one is a borrowed one too..! ;-)

this came with good pictures but I can't post those pictures here... blog will take more time to load at your end. so use a litttllle bit of imagination and fill in the gaps while reading (nothing hard to imagine though, you have to see a good car!! hehehe) and as i am not able to copy paste it, I am typing all the way. (you may drop few words of appreciation for that too!)

So here we go-

----------------

A woman had 3 girls.One day she decided to test her sons-in-law.

She invites the first one for a stroll by the lake shore, purposely falls in and pretended to be drowning.Without any hesitation the son-in-law jumps in and saves her.

The next morning, he finds a brand new car, in his driveway with this message on it's windshield -

Thank you! 

your mother-in-law who loves you!

[here you may visualise a cool car with this message (this was in the picture) ]

Few days later, the lady does the same thing with the second son-in-law.

He also jumps in the water and saves her.

She offers him a new car with the same message on the windshield.

Thank you! 

your mother-in-law who loves you!

[ Again... see a car with this message]

A few days later she does the same thing again with third son-in-law.

While she is drowning, the son-in-law looks at her without moving an inch and thinks - 'finally!! it's about time that this old witch dies!

The next morning, he receives a brand new car, with this message -

Thank You!!

Your father-in-law!!

======================

Cheers,

:-)

Hope you enjoyed it as much as I did!!

PS: Hey  VATSAL! thanks for sharing this one.

Thank you .. thank you!!!

Hello Friends...

Today I saw that the total page view has just crossed 601 and unique visitors is well around 260.. unique visitors from India is fast approaching 200...!!! nearly 59 visitors from out of India... I really did not know that my friends have gone so far to conquer the world and the technology brings them so close again...! I am overwhelmed with joy. Hence, for sure I know whom should I say a BIG, colorful 

 T H A N K Y O U  to....!!!  

(gee... color combination has always been a weak area for me.. please don't mind)

of course it is  YOU ..!!

You have presented me with this milestone and you have made it possible with all your valued visits to this blog and your encouragement in form of direct talk/comments/mails/calls/sms and all the means of communication. 

Thanks a ton for all your support and help.

And hey.... wait... I am not yet bidding good bye.... :-) so, do visit here as usual.  I do need your continuous support in future too. Do visit here as per your convinience and your inputs will always get warm welcome from me. If not comments, you can still say a simple hi or a single liner too, they are also welcome and will sure get a reply.

Cheers....!!! 

:-)

nothing special

कुछ दिनों पहले... नहीं.. दिनों नहीं शायद महीनों पहले एक छोटी सी बहस में मैंने शिरकत की थी. विषय था - क्या समय और दूरी में कोई फर्क है या दोनों एक ही हैं? तुरंत निष्कर्ष पर पहुँचाना वाकई जल्दबाजी होगी, थोड़ा विचार जरुरी है| 

सूर्य हमसे इतना दूर है कि प्रकाश को 3 लाख किलोमीटर प्रति सेकंड की रफ़्तार से आने पर भी 8 मिनट से थोड़ा ज्यादा वक़्त लगता है. मतलब हम हमेशा सूर्य को 8 मिनट से थोड़ा ज्यादा पुराना ही देख पाते हैं. यदि हम सूर्य से इतना दूर होते कि ये अंतर कुछ घंटों का होता तो हम समय में उतना ही पीछे जाकर पुराने सूरज को देखते होते| 

इसी सिद्धांत पर हम ब्रम्हांड में पुरानी खगोलीय घटनाओं को देखते हैं और दूर स्थित तारों में ब्रम्हांड की शुरुआत को देखने और ढूँढने की कोशिश करते हैं|  अब यदि हम किसी तरह प्रकाश से थोड़ा ज्यादा तेज जा पायें तो हर बार हम शायद वक़्त में भी पीछे जा रहे होंगे|  विचार बहुत ही उत्तेजना भरने वाला है. शायद हम अपने ही होने को अलग तरीके से देख पाएंगे|  

मान लें कि हम (मानव) प्रकाश से 10 या फिर 100 गुना ज्यादा गति से चलने के तरीके जान जाते हैं तो शायद हम अपने ही बचपन कि घटनाओं को फिर से अपने ही सामने होता देख पाएंगे..! मजेदार लगता है!!

यानी हमारा सफ़र दूरी के साथ समय के भी पीछे होगा .... time travel का शानदार तरीका होगा ये!
फिर भी मुझे विचार अधूरा लगता है... आपका क्या ख्याल है?
कमलेश... thanks for putting this up while traveling to and fro Al-Mas.... I will wait for your comments.. as it was your idea only and I might have flunked in putting it in the way you might trying to, other day.

borrowed one..!

Hey ... 

This time it is a borrowed one. I found it hilarious and interesting to put here..

With thanks to Shubham and Shubhranshu...

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-==-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Before Marriage ----

Boy: Yes!! At last.... It was so hard to wait.

Girl: Do you want me to leave?

Boy: NO! Don"t even think about it.

Girl: Do you love me?

Boy: Of course! Over and over!

Girl: Have you ever cheated on me?

Boy: NO! Why are you even asking?

Girl: Will you kiss me?

Boy: Every chance I get!

Girl: Will you hit me?

Boy: Are you crazy! I"m not that kind of person!

Girl: Can I trust you?

Boy: Yes.

Girl: Darling!

........and after marriage ??   

-------- simply read from bottom to top!

:-)

Thinking loud

In last few days few things at my married-life-issue turned out on different note and though I am pretty much positive about them, yet sometimes I have my own doubts on her motives. I really don't want to go back to my darn story of life again but than... I can't even ignore it completely. 

So what happened few days back, she started replying back on my emails and sure it is a good sign. She says that she want to talk to me. (hey.. are you still asking the question - who is 'she'? guess not.. I am talking about my wife). Hmm... that is pretty positive sign, we should talk then only issues get resolved. I replied back with lot of questions and hoped that she will reply back, but she did not. I almost forgot that in past too, her brother used to chat from her chat ID and this time too he might be playing the same card again. What is she/her brother is up to?? are they trying to build base for another case, like this person is harassing me over mail?? or trying to use these casual mails as evidence in existing cases? I don't know. 

One thing is sure, she is still not ready to resolve it. Otherwise after our mail conversation, she could have turned up in the court at least and might have said a 'hello' to me. (or I might have got a chance to start conversation on some similar note. 

Instead, her brother was giving me 'free advice' that I should obey their wish as command, I still have time and we (me and her sister) should live together again. Sure there was a big undertone of something else than advice.I think that advice was more suitable to his sister, after all she is the one who abandoned me and ran away.

Later her elder brother tried hard to say some real harsh things on the group mail. Earlier I did not notice, but now when I see all these things in a sequence, I smell a rat. 

Sure, this blog is not here for me complaining about my life, but I am just voicing my thoughts. I have tried to keep that cribbing thing on the back seat, now I only evaluate perspectives of what is going on. After all most of the things in the life seems to be back on track and this issue of failed-marriage is nothing more than a regular obstacle. I have learnt mostly to live with it. 

I don't see any reason why I should not enjoy my life the way it is. If it is hard than I am harder. 

Of late, I found less creative time to write any poem. Though I am not a poet but sure it gives me a new channel to express myself. Interestingly I found that I just can't write in a regular fashion, it has it's own high time and a swing in mood when words starts taking shape of a poem. Again, I am not binding myself to any rule that I have to write a poem every week or so, hence, I have no regrets and I will wait whenever next comes out of me. Sure I enjoy writing something which I myself can read back again and when I get hands on it, sure it will be published here too.

Next, are my small trips, usually not more than 4-6 hours. I am on one, almost every weekend these days. Sure that is another one way for me to enjoy myself. Again one is up ahead coming weekend. My new friends are very cooperative and go out with me most of the time. Sometimes I do go alone too, not because I am forced for it but just that I love being with myself too. 

There is a lot happening these days and I am taking it with open arms. I want to write about all, but time is not permitting me for that. I have to stop here, But sure you can always drop a mail, chat, call anything to me and warm welcome and reply will be there. 

cheers, 

:-)

... just a filler

Hi,
Guess I have so much at my hand that I am finding less time to write off late. :-) seems it is good..!!!! and what more? I am enjoying it too...
So ... this time just this small note on post and sure I would need all you to wish me luck .. have got this interesting span after a long time.

hope to see you soon here..!

Cheers...!!

उड़ान

उड़ान...

बीती रात सपने में मिला एक हवाईजहाज
और मेरे मन ने भर ली ऊँची उड़ान
सुनाता हूँ उसी उड़ान की दास्तान

पसंद आई या नहीं?
बताइयेगा जरूर श्रीमान!!

हवा के एक ठंडे झोंके ने सहलाया, उठाया
और मैंने अपने आप को खुले आकाश में पाया

वहां बादलों के ऊपर धूसर आसमान नज़र आया
जितना अकेला मैं था, उतना ही अकेला मैंने उसे पाया
मैंने बाहें फैलाई तो वो इठला गया
पूरा आसमान मेरे आगोश में आ गया


हौले से परिदृश्य बदला
कहीं से एक नन्हा, रेशमी, शैतान बादल आ निकला
उसका वो मृदुल स्पर्श
हम दोनों को गुदगुदा गया
जबरदस्त ठण्ड के बीच
गर्माहट का अहसास जगा गया
रूप बदलते बादल ने
बढ़ते जाने का सन्देश दिया
बूंदों में बिखर कर उसने
नवजीवन का सृजन किया


फिर मिली बादलों की एक फ़ौज
जिसमें,
कुछ काले, कुछ गोरे थे,
कुछ छोटे, कुछ मोटे थे
कभी पास, कभी ऊपर उड़ते,
कभी पांव के नीचे थे
इतने उत्साहित दिखते थे जैसे
चाँद जीत कर लौटे थे
एक से बढ़कर एक सभी, और
अपने आप में अनोखे थे
शिवजी की बारात हो जैसे
ऐसे मस्ती में डोले थे

फैशन शो फीके पड़ जाए
ऐसी सुन्दरता संजोये थे
कभी मदिरा के फेन से बुदबुद
कभी मक्खन के ढेले थे

कभी दिखे वो ऐसे जैसे
मानो रुई के फाहे उड़ते थे
या हों बड़े बड़े आइसबर्ग, जो
हवा के दरिया में बहते थे

मिले वहां कई teddy
और मिले कुछ पांडा भी
और कुछ ऐसे जैसे
नमक के खेतों में हो बिखरे
बड़े बड़े से रेले थे

swiss cheese की दीवार भी देखी
और वहीँ था Jerry भी
Tom पड़ा था उसके पीछे
पेंच वही सब पुराने थे

बड़े सुंदर और मखमली
बादलों के बिछोने थे
जाने, मदहोशी थी या था सुकून
या शायद,
बस, सोने के बहाने थे

फिर वो पल भी आया
जब मैंने अपने आप को जागता पाया
वो ख्वाब अधूरा रह गया
पर मेरी नींद पूरी कर गया
मुझे ख़ुशी के कुछ पल
और ये सुंदर कहानी दे गया

बेचैनी

पता नहीं आज कल क्या चलता रहता है दिमाग में
फुरकत-ए-ज़िन्दगी बुनती है मकड़ जाल मेरे दिमाग में
खुदकुशी के ख्यालों से लेकर दीवाना हो जाने तक
भोग विलास से लेकर त्याग वैराग्य तक
नफ़रत के अंधेरों से प्यार के उजालों तक
नैराश्य की खाइयों से उमंगों की बेसाख्ता उड़ानों तक
फिर कभी बेचैन होकर भागता हूँ,
या शायद भागते भागते बेचैन हो जाता हूँ
धड़कने सुनाई देती हैं हथोड़े जैसी 
ज़िन्दगी लगती है बोझ जैसी
अगले ही पल एक नन्ही सी अनाम मुस्कान
किसी अनजान निष्पाप बालक की,
कुछ और ही गुनगुना जाती है मेरे कानो में
दूसरा पहलू भी है ज़िंदगी का
ये सबक सिखा जाती है 
बेचैनी के लम्हों के बीच खोजता हूँ मैं अपने आप को
दूसरों के जीवन माधुर्य के बीच अपनी खुशियों को
बड़े-बड़े, तोड़ कर चकनाचूर कर डालने वाले डरों के बीच
मैं खोजता हूँ खो गयी छोटी छोटी खुशियों को
और पाना चाहता हूँ वापस अपने प्रति अपने ही प्यार को
जाने क्या है ये
खो जाने का डर या 'मैं' को खोने कि ख़ुशी
एक नया अहसास या ग़म की इक नयी लहर का इंतज़ार

 हाँ ... मैं सीख रहा हूँ चलना फिर से
हाँ ... मैं सीख रहा हूँ जीना फिर से
हाँ ... थोड़ा और बड़ा हूँ मैं आज... कल से

Impromptu

I am feeling agonised, irritated, happy, funny, tickling.... all at the same time. Something is deeply wrong with me or probably after a long time things are moving in right direction. These days I am again going through the same 'high-speed-thought-voyage' where I find myself almost standstill between the storm wind. I try to put something at front, something completely different comes up; surprising me almost every time.

This might not be making much of sense at this point of time and hence I have to post it without reading it second time or else I myself will not allow this to post. Coming back soon... hope this time something else will churn out.

I don't want to write more about Nimita and gang and their gimmicks anymore. I will just wait and watch as an outsider. This is a war between torture and patient; only time will tell who wins? Just pray with me to let the truth prevail.

By the way, there is something interesting for my blog, guess you might have noticed it. All you have contributed towards it and I am thankful to everyone out there who took time to visit my blog. Now there are 100+ visitors from India only. I am happy about it. Not to forget that there are many visitors from abroad too. It is really overwhelming response. I thank you all from bottom of my heart and hope you keep visiting my blog and extend your support up in future too. Do let me know about your feelings and inputs via comments or via mails or any other way which is convenient to you.

Next time I am thinking to come up with the SMS collection which I got from all you my friends. There are so many of them, I have to delete many and I miss those messages. So I thought of putting them here on blog too. What do you think of this?? Do tell me...



Bye! till we connect again....

Have a nice time...!

SC verdict

So, the divorce case has got transferred from Raipur to Bhopal. A bit disappointing to me. However, Nimita and gang also not have many things to be happy about. It has just been transferred, not decided on the main point of divorce. Now they won't have the luxury of skipping the dates. While the case was in Raipur, Nimita did not attend 6 hearings out of 12. This resulted in delay in decision, now it will be decided soon.

What new 'goti' or trick will they come up with?? to stretch the hearings? They are not up to solutions and they just want to harass me and my family. Honorable Supreme Court scold them for being greedy on settlement amount (they asked for Rs. 45 Lacs in mediation process at Gwalior).

Seems like Nimita's lawyer brother's only income source is her case and he does not want to let it go just like that. He is dependent on her income or her settlement amount. No positivity seen in Nimita or her family members towards solving the issue.

Next in line are the hearings on maintenance case (tomorrow, 23rd April); on domestic violence case (on 26th April) and on 498a case (on 5th May).

It is pretty awkward for me to write all these things in blog but it reflects only those things which are happening with me and are around me. After all it is my reflection - 'mera-aks'. I tried to write something intellectual and more thoughtful articles but end up with these things only. Hope I will be able to write other things too, soon.

I got a few advices and am thankful to all who are sharing them with me. Thanks a lot again.

Regards,

एक सवाल ...!

:-)
दिल्ली की नौटंकी के बाद सिर्फ एक छोटा सा सवाल अनुत्तरित रह गया ... निमिता और उसका परिवार दिल्ली से कहाँ गया होगा?? वापस भोपाल?? या फिर हरिद्वार के कुम्भ में .... अपने पाप धोने?? पर इतने बड़े पाप धोने के लिए तो कुम्भ भी कम पड़ेगा... !!

Delhi Drama

Hello,

On 9th April, we had a hearing at Honorable Supreme Court of India. I reached there in time and found that Nimita was there in photo gate pass window, along with her mom and both brothers. Naturally they also see me. Her other family members, I guess, were also in Delhi but did not come to Supreme Court.

I thought since all of them have come over, they might be up for talk and settlement. They had some other game-plan up their sleeves. She went inside the court and had some big application as usual, with her. Only intention I could make out was for delaying the proceedings in SC too. Then she had a long talk with her advocate and team. 

Ours was item number 49 in the list. I went in (at visitor's area in court) at the 45th item. Nimita and her mom were there. Suddenly their advocate did some 'ishara' to them and they simply walked out. I did not know what was going on? Later my advocate told me that despite he was also in, Nimita's advocate somehow claimed for Ex-Party decision and almost got it done. 

Immediately my advocate protested that saying he was there in court and it can't be ex-party. Though honorable court took the notice and reverted the ex-party thing but Nimita and party got small success in delaying the process for another week. 

Now the new date is 16th April. 

Interestingly in last hearing (on 1st April) after hearing their demand of 2 Crs and then 'coming down' to Rs. 45 Lacs, SC scold them for being so greedy on settlement amount,  On last hearing, if arguments were taken place, I am sure, some or the other way must have come out.

Even court is looking for a settlement and these people are not ready to listen to it. Now if they refuse the suggestion from SC who will they listen to??? If not settlement what the heck do they want?? sure enough, they are after bigger amount of money. It's all about MONEY... it always was. Right since marriage, it is about money only. They took marriage as a blank cheque, which is meant for their whole family feeding for whole life and now when that did not materialize, they want it in one time payment.

let's see what happens on 16th.

Demand and Supply

Such an unorthodox and well detailed subject to pick up? none of those which I said earlier that I have been thinking about. Actually title is somewhat deceptive. Though it is very much related to my experiences only,  'marital experiences or issues' to be more precise.

What demand and supply has to do with my life? Simply put, it is the only thing now a days to settle out the whole issue. In order to make you understand, I take you to my trips to Gwalior and Bhopal. 

As per the direction of Supreme Court of India (yes, Nimita and her brother have taken our matter to SC), we went to Gwalior. There is a Mediation Center of M P High Court there in Gwalior.

At first visit, Honorable Mediator gave us long enough time (more than 4 hours) and tried to discuss in various ways. He made us to talk to each other too, which obviously was destroyed completely by Nimita's dear Mammi, Bimla Nema and her Elder son, Abhay Nema who is working in Nai Duniya newspaper Indore. Nimita's family is trying way too hard to keep us two at non-talking terms like we are enemies and not husband-wife... and when I want to refuse that relationship on legal basis, they just don't accept it. kinda funny but weird.

Later these two people put across a whooping demand of Rs. 50 Lacs, yes you read it rightly as Rs. FIFTY LACS for 'Settlement'. Interestingly or rather as usual Nimita never had any personal opinion or say. Whole gimmick was being played only by Bimla and Abhay. If your jaw dropped by this amount than you sure will be shaken to know that she has demanded Rs. 2 Crores, yes RS. TWO CRORES, in different cases. (I still don't know if I can ever see that kinda sum in my life) So according to them, they have done a BIG favor to me by coming down to mere Rs. 50 Lacs.

Now poor me, I was overwhelmed by the big amount and offered myself as an object in market and humbly requested to Honorable Mediator to sell me at the highest possible price and give all that to greedy people. Alas, he refused to do so.

So the supply did not meet the demand of mere Rs. FIFTY LACS. So both the parties were given time of 2-3 weeks to rethink their position and to make a new point of demand of supply offers to see if mutual agreement is possible. 

Surprisingly in next meeting, which was the last (in front of Mediator) too, The demand came down whole 10% and the new point, (with all great adjustments and pain from 'their' side) was set to Rs. 45 LACS. what a relief ...!!! Unfortunately, even that was out of reach for me. So sadly the meeting was called as a failure and the matter was sent back to honorable SC again.

Demand and Supply did not meet, so no deal.

Later, when I went to Bhopal for the hearing of 498a case and other cases, her other brother, Anshuman, who is a lawyer in Bhopal and obviously fighting big guns in his sister's home-breaking-case, told to the honorable Judge that their demand might have come down more but 'he' (pointing towards me) was not able to pay even Rs. 2 Lacs. 

I was surprised that how cleanly he can lie and still does not make stupid faces. Though he seems to be very stupid on face. He should have come to Gwalior, I guess he might have negotiated better than his elder Brother. 

What came out clearly from all the episodes that - 

1. Nimita is not at all interested in coming back and there is no possibilities from her side to make it up back.

2. Her family wants nothing but whole lot of money from her hubby, i.e. me. 'Snatch as much as possible'. after all, Nimita can't be married second time to repeat the same thing.

3. Nimita, simply can't think on her own. Her family (especially her brother, Anshuman) does this part of her life for her. 

4. And what is in Anshuman's mind? as per his own words in Court - 'he (i.e. me) must give money for the days Nimita has spent with him. why did he ruined her life by marring her?' as if the arrange marriage could be so damn one sided and only I was agree (rather forced her) to marry.

5. Anshuman and Abhay both are playing deep games. One says to me that he has not yet started and once he does, I won't have place to hide. Second says that he won't let me live peacefully for a single day of my life. Elder brother is bother about my chess playing and rubik's cube solving skills and is trying to play offline chess with me. Younger lawyer bro is running from pillar to post as this is the only case he has in hand, which he thinks, will give him enough money to run his life happily ever after.

6. There is no check in law for the reverse dowry or extortion demand of this sort. 

What to do now? I don't know.

PLEASE BEWARE...

Hi,

A lot of things are happening in my life over the last one month. I am mostly happy about them except for a few glitches here and there. After a long time happiness is in my way and I am not letting it go just like that. 

Now the flip side is that I am still not able to share the whole story here as I am sure There are few unwanted readers of this blog (of course, it is not you) who are actually trying to keep a check on my real world through the web route. Who else? my so called wife Nimita and her frenzy family members namely Vijay, Bimla, Abhay, Varsha and the worst of them the self acclaimed 'great' liar Anshuman..! 

But why am I telling you all this? Do I want her to read this? NO actually. Basic point here is that my ex is trying for a new way to intrude - via my friend circle, via YOU; and that is where you are required to know about it and be aware of it.

She has started sending out 'add friend' request to my friend's list in Orkut. and 'add connection' in  LinkedIn, professional networking site. She has played this trick earlier too, but with Anshuman's ID which was not even bearing Anshuman's Name on it. Now she is doing it more openly from her ID itself. All I want you to do is to base your decision on your own will and wish. Treat her just as a stranger and NOT as my wife. I know well how to keep these people off me but I can't force my view points on you. Hence, this is just a humble request and information from my side.

Rest I will come back again on few other topics.. Lately, I have been thinking on 'self', few movies including avtaar and 3 idiots, 'dharm', few letters, a story etc. which topic should I talk about first?? here on blog?

Waiting..!

Dilemma

Hi...

With the last blog here I promised myself that I will write at least on a weekly basis and now I found, it is more than a month already. In last one month, I have been through so many things, probably each event can fit in for one small blog. Though all those times I felt a very strong urge to write and still was not able to do so. Again onus is on me only. Lame things like non-availability of net etc. were the reasons. Now the tempo is mellowed down and I am on the square one again.

I have been writing mostly on self and I am happy to see that still a lot of page views I get. Sometimes I question myself that which other subjects should I try my hands on? I found myself thinking on many things including lot of current topics. However, what put me on back-foot other than my own laziness, is the lack of your comments, your reviews, your input. can we make this as a discussion place?

I am feeling this one as incomplete one and right now I am running out of words to complete it. Trust me I have typed 4-5 paragraphs and have deleted them. They were not sounding consistent with the thoughts here. Are you feeling it incomplete and inconsistent too? then write back please.

waiting...

Save our TIGERS

A recent campaign about the Tigers, have got my attention. It is called SaveOurTigers. Only 1411 Tigers are left in our jungle these days. Just a century back they were over 40,000. Probably our ignorance towards the fast diminishing numbers was equally responsible as much as the poaching. 

Past can't be undone. Now the point is what best can be done towards preserving those 1411 (or may be even less by now). I hardly have any idea with me, but sure I can do one thing. I can spread the word here on my blog. I request you too the same in some or the other way. 

There is a website launched for the same. Might be useful to visit there as well. http://www.saveourtigers.com/ hope you will visit there.

Save them please..

Random Thoughts

Hi,

As usual, I am writing after a long gap. In last few days, I have found myself pretty close to write and then something or the other stopped me from doing so. reasons were both internal (to me) and external. Also I found that writing can not be a regular activity as it demands certain things like a basic urge, a worthy point, a bit of pain of not able to speak with anyone, to name a few; of course this is from my view only and may not be applicable to many others.

Hence, this time I thought that I should not bind myself to one thing but let the flow find its own way. Thus the Random Thoughts; few funny things, few not.

Just a few days back I got a baffling question in SMS and then while searching for the answer in the easiest way, by 'googling' it, I came across more such questions than the answer. So, I am putting those questions here, let's see if I get some answer or some smiles as response... sure enough, both are most welcome.

Q.1. The Question from which all this started - In English, 21 is pronounced as Twenty-One; 31 as Thirty-One; 41 as Forty-One and so on. Then why 11 is not pronounced as Ten-One but Eleven??

Next couple of questions were found while hunting for the answer to the above one.

Q.2. When we transport something by CAR, it is called as SHIPment, but when we send something by SHIP it is called CARgo. why so?

Q.3. Why night always 'falls' but never break and day always 'breaks' but never fall??

If you have more such questions than the answers, you can also share them.Whenever I start writing something, sure enough, pain of my failed marriage comes up in some or the other way just because it is not letting me go and is as omnipresent for me as air. It also remains around and I feel it now and don't feel it in next minute, just like air. But I know well that it is here only.

Last week, this thing pulled me as far as Supreme Court of India. She (my wife, how I wish to write my 'ex-wife') filed a Transfer petition for divorce case to be shifted from Raipur to Bhopal so that her 'great advocate brother' can manipulate things and take the advantage of corruption and loop holes of the system better. So the hearing was on 1st and I was there in SC. I suddenly realize how beautiful building it is and I got a chance to see it, for whatever reason though.

Now SC has directed us to Mediation Center of MP high court, situated at Gwalior. On every single hearing I hope that she will agree for some amicable way out and we will walk out peacefully but till now it has not happened. I am hopeful again this time.

I had a very nice and fulfilling experience in last few days. I was able to support someone when he needed it the most and when he came out of the situation, I felt really happy for him. However, letting his identity out will not be morally correct for me, Also it will make my joy to sound like blowing my own trumpet, which is not at all the intention. I just wanted to share that I found some happiness and satisfaction which are rare these days for me.

Just few days back we said 'happy new year' and now first month has already gone. Time just flies off, wink and there it goes. Although my bad time has stretched long but it has given me more directions to look at. I recall that dialog from historic Jurassic Park (movie) - "Life will find its way". Yes, it does find it every single time without fail. Mine is no exception to this either!
:-)

Cheers,

New year wishes...!

Hi,
Just a small one this time and I will come back with more.
Wishing you a very happy new year 2010.. just that it is four days late a wish.. still new year is a new year. As you know that I take time to give aks of words to my thoughts, so I hope you won't mind this delay of four days. 

;-)  

Again I am short of words (pretty usual of me, of course as I am still not seasoned in writing) to express myself and this time too it is more than one thought, more than one smile, more than one kodak moment of my life which I want to pen up. Just that I am cherishing it and it has become 'goonge ka gud' to explain. I will try to put it down on word and later will paste it here but first I will tell you that last month of last year.. yes just passed one - December was kinda relieved one for me and I enjoyed it a bit in my own way. Been to one of my old time center of faith (yes, it was a religious place) and despite spending very little time religiously there, found new energy in self. most of the time I was doing one of my favorite things - clicking pictures. Yet another good thing which I lost in few years and regained in this month was my love to ride a bike. I rode it some 220+ km in a single day, all alone and had a lot of fun on the way. One full day of me being with me after a long time.

Kinda days I am having for last one year or so, I took this as a positive hint from Him to me. Life will be happy being with me again... soon, I hope. I do need your good wishes all the way...